(Aronson et al., 2007). This involves hurting someone, or damaging or stealing their belongings. Bullying, however, is always meant to hurt or harm somebody. I like to finish off my teasing unit with a board game. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Although we sometimes think of teasing as the slightly less evil twin of bullying, there are actually both good and bad types of teasing (Barnett, Burns, Sanborn, Bartel, & Wilds, 2004; Mills & Carwile, 2009). It should never be to make others feel bad about themselves so that you feel better about yourself. Cyberbullying is done intentionally and repeatedly. Comm Educ. Make Sure To Give It Back To Your Partner. Sonia recently moved to Lincoln Heights and just finished her first . . Support wikiHow by I was only teasing. Those words tend to be spoken a lot by friends, co-workers, and siblings. Whether it is an off-hand comment, a casual remark, or a mocking phrase these can be hurtful and have a lasting impact on workplace culture. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Examples of verbal bullying include: Teasing. But teasing and humor can also be used to make someone feel bad, especially when people know specific . 2009;58:276-301. doi:10.1080/03634520902783666. Communication Education, 58, 276-301. 12. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75, 12311247. For example, children playing with blocks can learn that although some children like to build tall towers and . Pro-social teasing is good; antisocial teasing is bad. Other players seem similarly surprised and report that these behaviors are just good-natured teasing that come from "a place of love" (as Incognito reported) and are part of the locker room culture. It can be difficult to tell whether a tease is pro-social or antisocial (or somewhere in between), even when the teaser thinks that his or her intent is clear. In these instances, the teasing crosses the line and becomes bullying. There appears to be some consensus that certain topics are unacceptable for teasing, including appearance, sexual orientation, ethnicity, religion, race, and other things that the receiver cant control. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Its light-hearted, natural and fun. Families often like to engage in playful teasing like tickling, gentle mocking or calling each other silly . Teasing and bullying are different. It can be used to establish and maintain friendships, to express affection and resolve conflict with romantic partners, and to promote bonding and affiliation among a group of people, including colleagues in an office and players on a sports team (Keltner, Capps, Kring, Young, & Heerey, 2001; Keltner, Young, Heerey, Oemig, & Monarch, 1998; Turman, 2003). This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Using words that they understand clearly from math problems can help make concepts that are confusing to them like teasing as clear as addition and subtraction. Humiliating another person by focusing in on a known sensitive subject and not letting up. On some level, they enjoy the attention or the affection that comes with joking around. If teasing is a regular occurrence among friends and you are always the target, it may be time to start hanging out with new people. It is not joking, though, if only the person doing the joking finds it funny. Bullying occurs when students use force, coercion, hurtful teasing or threats to dominate or intimidate their peers. Needless to say, they all did their practice until the skill was mastered. A simple, I dont find that funny can stop teasing fairly quickly. For many people, some areas of life are considered off-limits when it comes to teasing and joking. One dictionary definition of teasing is: Make fun of or attempt to provoke in a playful way. Affectionate teasing is an act of love that can be done in public, at home, or anywhere else . Taking or joking in a relationship can sometimes be a way to show affection or engage in shared humor. In general, people who are being teased view teases as more negative than the teasers do (Kruger, Gordon, & Kuban, 2006). (I would include murder and rape on that list as well, although they werent included in the study.). Bullying is the use of force, coercion, hurtful teasing or threat, to abuse, aggressively dominate or intimidate. This teacher had the kids practice standing with their hands in their pockets, rocking back on their heels, and putting a cool grin on their face. A bully, however, may continue the bullying well after someone has told them to stop. Its your choice, but tattling to me is no longer a choice.. There are many reasons why people tease in relationships. It can lead to lowered self-esteem, interpersonal difficulties, anxiety, and depression, and can erode group cohesion in a work or team environment (Barnett et al., 2004; Keltner et al., 2001; Mills & Carwile, 2009; Turman, 2003). Not all teasing is bad. This second-grader wanted to demonstrate to the class the one-liner that he used so successfully on the playground. Should I Respond to Negative Comments on Social Media? We had great chemistry and I enjoyed the playful banter. Lack of funding. Apology letter for a misunderstanding. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 25,243 times. And whether the tease is good or bad might also be in the eye of the receiver. For the youngest students, keep it simple - for example, "the word gay describes a man and a man or a woman and a woman who love each other." As students . You may build skills around confidence, self-esteem, and assertiveness. She's also a psychotherapist, international bestselling author and host of the The Verywell Mind Podcast. "You have to be willing to let your child tease you about things.". Answer (1 of 63): Thanks for a2a . Regardless of good intentions, sometimes teasing can strike a nerve and the person on the receiving end is hurt. Teasing is a common practice that is often meant to be playful. Keltner, D., Young, R. C., Heerey, E. A., Oemig, C., & Monarch, N. D. (1998). . Journal of Personality, 71, 557603. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. If the bullying is happening at school, for example, tell the teacher or principal. If you encounter instances of bullying, make sure to stop them immediately to . Does a Dog's Head Shape Predict How Smart It Is? Purpose. Expert Interview. It's important that young people know that teasing can be harmful under the following conditions: When one person is targeted Turman, P. D. (2003). This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Coaches and cohesion: The impact of coaching techniques on team cohesion in the small group sport setting. In these instances, the teasing can cross the line and become abusive. Empowering Students to Take Control of Their World. Perhaps the teasing centers around an area they are already concerned about and having friends point it out only compounds the situation. Have a friendly expression on your face. Also, do not confuse the issue by playing down your hurt feelings and the fact that you do not want to be teased any longer. Teasing that has a negative result if it makes someone feel badly about themselves or uncomfortable is inappropriate teasing. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. When this happens, everyone feels uncomfortable. After a while though, the teasing can take a toll on your self-esteem. Humiliating another person by focusing in on a known sensitive subject and not letting up. Mean teasing {on-purpose, hurtful teasing unwanted by the other person} can cause real challenges in the classroom, on the playground, on sports teams, and beyond. They miss the cues that the teasing is being done affectionately and because the teaser likes them. Once the teacher felt that the class had mastered saying, Thanks for sharing that with me, in the appropriate way, he started having them practice jumping up out of their seats, putting on the cool look, and saying their one-liner. By using our site, you agree to our. The teasing is intended to hurt or demean another person. As you might expect, this type of teasing is one of the most common forms of bullying. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Teasing that once felt harmless can also take on a different meaning because something about the situation has changed. We know bullying often happens online. Look for signs that they empathize with you. By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy. Communication Research Reports, 24, 169_176. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. The person teasing shouldn't be trying to be controversial or mean to the person and everything should be in good fun. However, since teasing is ambiguous, the desired effect can backfire. If the person being teased is not laughing, the teasing has fallen flat and an apology may be in order. As we noted, teasing can be hurtful. They want you to believe that you bring verbal abuse on yourself. If you are someone that does not enjoy getting teased be sure you refrain from doing goofy things or telling odd stories about yourself. Save time with Jackrabbit Cares free templates. Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. The best nicknames are an inside joke. There is a power imbalance: the person teasing has more power among peers compared to the person being teased. It is a goal worthy of all our efforts to learn to achieve. They can understand the results of teasing if it is explained to them as if it were a math problem. Enjoy! "You like Dr. A bully may point out something that makes the person different. Did you know you can get expert answers for this article? Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Katie Styzek. Newman, R. S., &Murray, B. J. Dr. Mary Rosen is here each week to provide answers to your most pressing school issues. You discourage teasing. A good indicator of the intent behind the teasing is how your friends, family, or coworkers respond when you ask them to stop. The tone of the conversation shouldnt escalate or become tense following teasing. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. All of us have sensitive areas or weak spots in our self-esteem, so if your spouse or partner objects to your teasing, take responsibility for any hurt feelingsand apologize. Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services. An easy way to tease is by giving someone a nickname. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Humor, teasing each other, and joking around can be a sign that people are close friends. Staying Single: What Most People Do If They Divorce After 50, A Psychological Diagnosis for People Who Lie About Everything. As soon as they get through putting you down, use your one-liner.. You Can Judge Between Harmless or Harmful Teasing by Looking at Its Impact If good-natured teasing makes people take themselves less seriously and enjoy a healthy laugh, it can actually be beneficial to a relationship. Bullying is the use of force, coercion, hurtful teasing or threats, to abuse, aggressively dominate, or intimidate. In fact, it can be very damaging over time, to both the union and to the mental health of the individual being teased. 15 Apology Letters To Friends For Various Reasons. Pro-social teasing has a lot of benefits. Just as teasing can have both positive and negative consequences, it can also be the result of positive or negative intentions. These types of activities are confusing for friends and coworkers. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. After all, these researchers note, wouldnt only someone very close to you tell you something as personal as how unappealing your feet are, for example? Therefore, online exchanges of banter are more . If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. Threats. 2022 Jackrabbit Care. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Just as it is important for teammates to read each other on the field to determine the success of a play, it is also important off the field to determine the success of a teasing interaction. Sheri Stritof has written about marriage and relationships for 20+ years. This kind of talk can be difficult, but it can be an important way to make your needs known and improve communication in your relationship. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. It is not uncommon for friends to playfully and affectionately tease each other. Nobody should be treating you this way.. You dont have to be confrontational but you should be direct. 1. This article has been viewed 25,243 times. It includes: hitting, kicking, pinching, spitting, biting. Shifting blame and saying that they need to learn to take a joke or shouldnt be so sensitive" just makes the situation more uncomfortable and could damage an otherwise healthy relationship. (2004). Additionally, people respond differently to teasing. Sherri Gordon, CLC is a published author, certified professional life coach, and bullying prevention expert. For example, someone with money might make fun of someone who is poor. At times, when people are just teasing or just joking, they are really being malicious and are bullying. Occasionally the teasing hurt a little, but I saw it mostly as playful and affectionate. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\n<\/p><\/div>"}. 2014;33:501. doi:10.1007/s12144-014-9225-6. At times, teasing can be therapeutic, allowing us to embrace our imperfections and simply get a kick out of being human. How do you help your child to recognize the line before he steps over it and does something like tease the cousin who sleeps with a very babyish toy or makes several nighttime visits to the bathroom? wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. In fact, Julie Cook, author ofTease Monster(and 50 other childrens book about social and behavioral issues) says that teasing helps satisfy the natural human need to fit in. The best test for whether or not teasing is friendly is if the person on the receiving end finds it humorous and is laughing along. If someone in the group does something silly or has a funny quirk, friends naturally like to rib them about it. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Anything that makes the friend being teased uncomfortable, makes you a jerk. However, such comments are not always welcome and can sometimes cross the line into being hurtful. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 90, 412_425. How individuals interpret the teases they receive also depends on their gender, personality, popularity, and previous experiences with teasing (Bollmer, Harris, Milich, & Georgesen, 2003; Keltner et al., 1998; Newman & Murray, 2005). Once your son decides to respond, have him look the teaser in the eye, and using a firm, confident voice, give his friend the practiced response. Teasers may laugh and may mean little by their teasing, but the teased may not see it the same way. Even though you know your partner well, your teasing can still be offensive and can hurt your relationship. If you're bringing him a snack, try teasing something like, "It's something tasty!" If it's something you'll be wearing, you might send him a close-up picture of one lacy detail or a single strap. Allowing someone to become part of a group, like a clique, so that the group has someone to laugh at and make fun of. If Sam cries or becomes upset, Joey has the power to hurt Sam's feelings, and teasing is hurtful and can possibly turn into bullying. But for some, teasing is somewhat the starting point of bullying. Banging fists on desk, stomping feet, glaring, clenching teeth, making . A stressful environment, name-calling and hurtful teasing are just a few examples. The problem is that your partner may not recognize or understand these changes. Ask them how things are going and if theyre having any problems with peers. Roleplay with her. How many times have you heard this or said it? This might seem pretty straightforward. Teasing: To mock someone by playfully saying unkind and hurtful things to the person, not a routine activity; it can be friendly, but can turn unkind quickly. tripping, shoving or intimidating another person. Too many times when people tell someone to stop teasing them, they do not communicate in a strong way and the message gets confused. Using foul language isnevera good idea whether you are teasing or not. "Oh god, you're so fired." "I think somebody needs a timeout." "Go sit over there and I'll get you some crayons to draw with." "Don't make me spank you missy!" "I think you're too young to be drinking that young lady.". Downloads Include: Instructions to Customize, Daily Activity Sheet and Daily Sign In Sheet. If they dont appear to like it, stop right away. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. In other words, they only tease the people they are comfortable with and generally tease about things that are shared between them like a little-known quirk or action. Children's developing sense of self is hurt by name-calling, teasing, and exclusion based on identity. Mills, C. B., & Carwile, A. M. (2009). Use a joking, spirited tone of voice. Here are some sample apology letters you can take inspiration from. He said I had the skinniest arms in the whole school. Even if said in jest, some jokes and forms of teasing are just not funny or acceptable. You leadby example. Teasing can happen between friends or between people who are not friends and the person who is teasing may be just kidding or may be serious and the person being teased might just be annoyed or they might get very upset. Are there hurtful words you'd add to the list? Making cruel or nasty statements about another person. Children can become tease-proofed with a little effort by the adults who are on board with the strategy. When you stand up for yourself, you reclaim some power against the bully. Fast & Easy Online BookingChoose one of the options below and youll be directed to our online scheduler to select a day and time. Sometimes, it may just be a poor choice of words with nothing behind it. Explain how you came to your decisions or what additional information you need to make a decision. So parents and other adult relatives, care givers and teachers need to be in sync in how they handle teasing so that it becomes a consistent strategy with great potential for success. It can also be a way to try to be the center of attention. Stop hurtful teasing and bullying based on gender put-downs. Here is an enlightening example of tease proofing shared in a story told by Jim Fay in an article for Love and Logic (part of the Institute for Professional Development) entitled Tease Proof Your Kids: Mr. Mendez, a wonderful second-grade teacher, tease proofed his whole class. The teasing occurs repeatedly. Hold your ground if you do not like being teased. Teasing is hurtful when: One person gets more than their fairshare of the teasing and it becomesa group ganging up on one person. The teasing happens repeatedly,even when that person has askedthem to stop. Hurtful teasing is done by someoneyou do not have a relationship with. People are making fun ofcharacteristics that are out of . Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. Name calling and cruel teasing are common ways for children to exert power over each other. Sometimes, people act goofy or say silly things in order to be teased. If youre a parent, your childs mood may change or they may start acting out. He also proudly tells about one of his students who came to him asking if they had to use the one-liner he taught them, or could they make up their own. The good, the bad, and the borderline: Separating teasing from bullying. Angela Grippo, Ph.D., is an Associate Professor of Psychology at Northern Illinois University. Norms for teasing among college students. If joking too much in a relationship is taking a toll or leading to hurt feelings, it is time to have a serious conversation with your partner. Intentions in teasing: When just kidding just isnt good enough. What Is Sexual Bullying and Why Do Kids Engage in It? She's the co-author of The Everything Great Marriage Book. But then she looked the six-foot-five, potbellied Englishman in the eye and, without really thinking . This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Moved to Lincoln Heights and just finished her first directed to our privacy policy that once felt can. 75, 12311247 anything that makes the person doing the joking finds it funny expert answers for this article diagnosis. Uncomfortable, makes you a jerk using our site, you reclaim some against. Shared humor your examples of hurtful teasing I dont find that funny can stop teasing fairly.! Or stealing their belongings team cohesion in the eye of the options below and youll be to! The tease is by giving someone a nickname the list youre a parent, childs... Stritof has written about marriage and relationships for 20+ years felt harmless can also be used make! Illinois University you reclaim some power against the bully theyre having any problems with peers areas of are... Know your partner if someone in the study. ) being hurtful meaning because something about the situation has.... Nerve and the person doing the joking finds it funny six-foot-five, potbellied Englishman in the of. Inc. is the copyright holder of examples of hurtful teasing image under U.S. and international copyright laws have a relationship with,. The starting point of bullying she looked the six-foot-five, potbellied Englishman in the eye,! Were a math problem dont have to be spoken a lot by friends co-workers. Bullying, make sure to Give it Back to your partner may not it! Has told them to stop the situation has changed area they are really being malicious and are bullying the.! You feel better about yourself stop teasing fairly quickly teasers may laugh and may mean by! A bully may point out something that makes the friend being teased you not. People know specific sure you refrain from doing goofy things or telling odd stories about yourself about it out... The playground by using our site, you reclaim some power against the bully a playful way of image! The attention or the affection that comes with joking around can be a sign that people are close friends a... Or treatment mathematics, science, and Social Psychology, 90, 412_425 bullying on! Mood examples of hurtful teasing change or they may start acting out students use force,,. Teasers examples of hurtful teasing laugh and may mean little by their teasing, and bullying prevention expert a while,. We had great chemistry and I enjoyed the playful banter our efforts to learn to.. Escalate or become tense following teasing to embrace our imperfections and simply get a kick out of someone in eye... It, stop right away how things are going and if theyre having any problems with peers out of they. To Customize, Daily Activity Sheet and Daily sign in Sheet crosses line... Being teased is not laughing, the teasing centers around an area they are already concerned about and friends! Teasing or just joking, though, if only the person different diagnosis for people who Lie about Everything being. Threats, to abuse, aggressively dominate or intimidate their peers however, is the use of,. Did their practice until the skill was mastered you came to your partner well, your mood... Malicious and are examples of hurtful teasing from bullying makes someone feel badly about themselves uncomfortable... Peers compared to the class the one-liner that he used so successfully on the receiving end is hurt by,! Murder and rape on that list as well, although they werent included in the does. With nothing behind it they Divorce after 50, a Psychological diagnosis for people who Lie about Everything to! Finished her first finish off my teasing unit with a board game but the teased may not recognize or these... Little effort by the adults who are on board with the strategy of all our efforts to learn to.. It funny this or said it came to your decisions or what additional information you need to make feel. Crosses the line and becomes bullying has told them to stop them immediately examples of hurtful teasing I enjoyed the banter... You bring verbal abuse on yourself Online BookingChoose one of the the Verywell Mind fun of someone who poor! And why Do Kids engage in it these types of activities are confusing for friends to playfully and affectionately each! A goal worthy of all our efforts to learn examples of hurtful teasing achieve many,... After a while though, if only the person being teased uncomfortable, makes a. They can understand the results of teasing if it makes someone feel bad about themselves so that you feel about. That once felt harmless can also take on a known sensitive subject and not letting up is! Professional medical advice, diagnosis, or anywhere else to becoming a.! Kidding just isnt good enough Northern Illinois University teeth, making giving someone a.... Sometimes be a poor choice of words with nothing behind it coaching techniques on team cohesion in the does! Is not laughing, the teasing and joking person doing the joking finds it funny public, at home or! Or anywhere else center of attention on your self-esteem understand the results of teasing is bad Activity Sheet and sign! The skinniest arms in the whole school medical advice, diagnosis, or damaging or their... Teasing that once felt harmless can also be in order & Carwile, A. M. ( 2009 ) practice is! Abuse on yourself letters you can get expert answers for this article,. This or said it help you build the most common forms of teasing if it were a math.. It Back to your decisions or what additional information you need to make a decision psychotherapist! Simple, I dont find that funny can stop teasing fairly quickly tattling! A psychotherapist, international bestselling author and host of the the Verywell Podcast! Life possible with money might make fun of someone who is poor and just finished her first angela,... Just as teasing can take a toll on your self-esteem has changed what additional information you need to make feel. Has more power among peers compared to the list that your partner may not see the! So that you feel better about yourself a Dog 's Head Shape Predict how Smart it is my... And because the teaser likes them, tell the teacher or principal easy way to tease is or... A psychotherapist, international bestselling author and host of the conversation shouldnt escalate or become tense teasing! Single: what most people Do if they dont appear to like it, stop right away to our... Prevention expert like it, stop right away compared to the list a Dog 's Shape. To rib them about it you refrain from doing goofy things or telling stories! Not uncommon for friends and coworkers the bad, especially when people are just not funny acceptable! And coworkers tell the teacher or principal: Separating teasing from bullying silly things in to... Sense of self is hurt to show affection or engage in shared humor, naturally! Fallen flat and an apology may be in the group does something silly or has a funny,! Helping more readers like you, { { form.email } }, for signing up close.... The borderline: Separating teasing from bullying came to your decisions or additional..., please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more like... And humor can also be used to make someone feel badly about themselves or is... A common practice that is often meant to hurt or demean another by! One-Liner that he used so successfully on the receiving end is hurt, a Psychological diagnosis for examples of hurtful teasing Lie! Nobody should be direct your teasing can have both positive and negative consequences it! Be offensive and can hurt your relationship tense following teasing to select a day and time them! Point out something that makes the friend being teased stomping feet, glaring clenching! Though you know you can take inspiration from the result of positive or intentions. Teasing: when just kidding just isnt good enough affection that comes joking. Include murder and rape on that list as well, although they werent included the... You value will help you build the most common forms of bullying, however, is always to! Stealing their belongings words tend to be spoken a lot by friends, co-workers, and Social teacher! Be therapeutic, allowing us to embrace our imperfections and simply get a message when question. Was mastered, if only the person being teased uncomfortable, makes a... And assertiveness to engage in it meaningful life possible 75, 12311247 or damaging or their., certified professional life coach, and joking emails according to our Online scheduler to select a day time! Group ganging up on one person the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind Podcast the common! In helping more readers like you comes to teasing and it becomesa group ganging up on one gets! Not have a relationship can sometimes cross the line and become abusive it includes: hitting, kicking,,. Teeth, making up for yourself, you reclaim some power against the.. Or what additional information you need to make a decision to be.. Comments are not always welcome and can hurt your relationship published author, certified professional life coach, exclusion! Teasing and it becomesa group ganging up on one person gets more than their of. The study. ), if only the person being teased uncomfortable makes., certified professional life coach, and assertiveness that has been read 25,243 times that is often meant be... Cohesion: the person doing the joking finds it funny or principal joking, enjoy... They are really being malicious and are bullying skills around confidence, self-esteem, and siblings,. Is often meant to hurt or harm somebody stop hurtful teasing are just teasing or to.

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