Sitting on the hospital bed watching all these other people hold my daughter, I felt waves of sadness wash over me that I couldnt explain. The unfortunate truth is that childbirth, to this day, can be a very dangerous ordeal. Specifically, the swarms of family, friends and complete strangers that always seem to surround little babies. For those that you do let touch your baby, ask that they follow basic health protocols. Sick people should not hold your baby. Being 3 months old, your baby will very soon become more active and easier to play with. Things like no hot potato-ing or kissing their face. BFP May 11, 2012 And finally, you want to make sure that, as tempting as it might be, visitors refrain from being too close to your babys face, advises Dr. Harvey Karp, MD, a pediatrician, and author of the best-selling parent guides Happiest Baby on the Block & Happiest Toddler on the Block. TTC since June 2009 The parents may not want an audience as they get used to handling and changing their newborn. Nearly everyone wants to take a peekor even have a cuddle. Sarah Rahal, MD is a double board-certified adult and pediatric neurologist and headache medicine specialist. Along with continuing concern about exposure to germs, these factors may also enter into their decision: Most grandparents grew up in a time when it was accepted that grandmothers would be on the premises to help new mothers. Luckily, one way you can boost your child's immune protection is to breastfeed and to have your child receive all the available and suggested vaccines. Dr. William Schaffner, MD, an infectious disease expert and Professor of Preventive Medicine in the Department of Health Policy as well as Professor of Medicine in the Division of Infectious Diseases at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, Nashville, TN, Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP, a pediatrician, Dr. Harvey Karp, MD, a pediatrician, and author of the best-selling parent guides Happiest Baby on the Block & Happiest Toddler on the Block, Expert Advice For Managing A 12 Month Sleep Regression, The 4 Month Sleep Regression: Survival Tips From Baby Sleep Experts, The 18-Month Sleep Regression: Expert Advice To Get You Through, The 8-10 Month Sleep Regression: Expert Advice To Get You Through It, What Parents Are Talking About Delivered Straight To Your Inbox, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Parents have an obligation to ensure their child is safe from potential exposure to disease. Avoid indoor exposures to people not in your household. And anyone who wants to get close has to wear a mask. Proper hand hygiene is strongly suggested before holding the baby, so that no outside germs are potentially put on the babys hands, which can wind up in their mouth, advises Dr. Alexander. I resisted the urge to be rude and demand to have my baby back. Lyndsey Garbi, MD, is a pediatrician who is double board-certified in pediatrics and neonatology. All of my excitement about showing my daughter off was slowly fading. Anyone who plans to visit a newborn should be immunized against pertussis, and, when in season, influenza, advises Dr. Alexander. And if youre feeling guilty that youre going to cut short a visit, you shouldnt. Have a parenting question youd like some other mums and dads to weigh in on? Physical distancing is one of the most important ways to reduce the spread of COVID-19. We just said no visitors at all this time since everyone, im not going to lie, I wish i could stop everyone from holding my baby. Bringing a newborn baby home from the hospital is an exciting and stressful time. It made me so happ, My personal opinion is that it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a new baby. Well, maybe not for the new mum or dad. 1. Granted, we had DS at the height of flu season, but no one even asked to hold him when they visited, parents, inlaws, or otherwise. No, my brother in law did most of the talking. His mother disapproves, considering her beneath her son. ! to every nurse who came in the room. Design: Ashley Britton/SheKnows. She has written articles on pregnancy, parenting, and relationships. They knew we were coming, we were watching their house/pets for them. That's a lot of Babies are very vulnerable to germs and illness. Over the next few hours, we were visited by my parents, my mother-in-law, my brother, future sister-in-law, my sister, and her boyfriend. No vacations, no press trips, no spontaneous beach days or spontaneous anything, no weeks of being at the beach every day, no boat rides (because postpartum pain is no joke), no time to myself, no sleep, no weekends away, no wine, no gym, no time to go for sunset cruises down Ocean Parkway, and very little time for friends. Nobody has a right to your baby, and that includes close family. If someone wants to hold your baby, make sure that he or she washes their hands well before doing so. In other words, bed-sharing is one way of co-sleeping. As recently as the 1970s, postpartum hospital stays averaged four days. Do not let many relatives into the room. Most newborns feed every two to three hours, followed by a nap. So visits should not interfere with this routine to ensure that the baby has sufficient time for both. services and since infants can also contract the disease. The baby isn't a toy. This may just be the best way to keep all hands off the baby. policy. Smokers should not hold the baby for at least half an hour after smoking. We are letting people hold Ryan, but if anyone so much as sniffles, they're not allowed. my 2nd . 1. That just comes with parenting and extends beyond the newborn stage. We trust that our parents and siblings would not hold her if they felt sick. Nemours Foundation. There are many psycho-educational programmes on offer that can boost your skills and capacities for self-awareness and confidence building; aware.ie and grow.ie are two. Am I being a bad parent by letting my five-year-old sleep in our bed. Most grandparents will be dying to help with the baby, but again, defer to the parents' wishes. Also Read:How to Hold an Infant Properly? by BeeDH. Just tell everyone to wait a week or so, my husband said, reminding me that I had just pushed a baby out of my body and needed time to rest. Read our, Concerns About Letting People Touch Your Newborn, Use Extra Precautions for the First Two Months, Why Youre Feeling Isolated as a New MomAnd What to Do About It. I thought maybe I would feel better when I was home, in a more comfortable setting, having spent a few days getting to know my daughter. Today's mothers live in a fairly different world. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. For one thing, their partners are more likely to help out. Just family is allowed over right now anyway, we're not up to other visitors yet. My son and his wife are expecting a baby boy in two weeks the first grandchild on either side of the family. The ideal time is when your child is about two months old, but everyone knows that it is not so easy to keep visitors away for so long, and most parents do not want to be isolated for as long anyway. Hold your baby. No judgements either way just looking to see what people's views are .. Am I wrong? I dont know how to say no without causing a scene or seeming ridiculous, so I usually say that she needs a feed or is feeling a bit cranky. Keeping your baby safe is your job. Some people are being understanding, others are not. Ive also never felt the love that I feel for Sophia. In a, I think it's a little weird that you asked to hold it. I think it's stupid to not let your parents hold your baby. It's best to ask your toddler, for example, to sit next to you and place your baby on his lap. Now is the perfect time to start your Baby Registry! 1. If you ask an overwhelmed parent what you should do, you're simply giving the parent another thing to think about. A few months ago, I winced my way through 36 hours of, Heather Rae El Moussa Shares Exhausting Look at One Month, Over the next few hours, we were visited by my parents, my mother-in-law, my brother, future sister-in-law, my sister, and her boyfriend. Here are a few things that every parent should keep in mind before allowing visitors to hold the baby: A few ideas to help you do so without being offensive towards anybody. Remember that older people may not have much strength, and children usually have no experience holding a baby. Crying babies may be soothed by gentle rubbing or pats on the back. 2010-2023 Parenting.FirstCry.com. 24/06/2020 23:40. Some take time off from work or work from home in order to be there for the mother and newborn. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Should you have any concerns about your health, or of that of your baby or child, please consult with Required fields are marked *. Helping your baby to sleep How to change your baby's nappy Nappy rash Reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) Soothing a crying baby Washing and bathing your baby What you'll need for your baby Content copyright Journal Media Ltd. 2023 Registered in Dublin, registration number: Try not to let too many people handle your baby for too long, as he may get tired or become over-stimulated. The good news is that once you're ready for visitors, it's completely fine to let friends and family hold your newborn baby. Anyone else's baby a climber. Catie. . By Susan Adcox Add in a pandemic and people who may want to visit. Irish sport images provided by Inpho Photography Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. My sister said I was being too much of a germaphobe, but I don't care. When anyone came over, I tried to politely sit and talk with them while also having to lock myself in my bedroom every hour or so to breastfeed and pump. unless otherwise stated. In-laws may not see any reason to callyou are family after all, they think. I never thought Id have a summer spent mostly inside. The days that followed were a whirlwind. Whether its nerves, worries about germs and bugs, or just a gut instinct, it can tougher for a brand new parent to hand over their baby than many people realise. Her work has been published in numerous magazines, newspapers, and websites, including Activity Connection,Glamour, PDX Parent, Self, TripSavvy,Marie Claire,and TimeOut NY. But before you extend an invitation, you should try to hold off at least a month or more. Feel free to be a mama bear, It's up to you what you ask of your visitors. They are creating a protected period for forming a family unit. Her work has been published in numerous magazines, newspapers, and websites, including Activity Connection,Glamour, PDX Parent, Self, TripSavvy,Marie Claire,and TimeOut NY. spinal tap (to rule out meningitis I think) - not something that I want Everyone washes their hands. Please note that The Journal uses cookies to improve your experience and to provide June 1, 2012 - first u/s, heartbeat 124 BPM!! Hip Hold. Family members, never hold a newborn baby if the mother has not yet had the opportunity to do so after childbirth. Your baby has a right to her own space too. If they only have one or two days in the hospital, mothers may need all that time for rest and recuperation. for a while - this time of year there are just too many bugs going When parents ban grandparents from visiting, usually it is to allow the new family to bond without any complicating factors. Most newborns need eight to 12 feedings a day about one feeding every two to three hours. Another complicating factor is if one grandparent is welcomed and another turned away. Here are 6 common conflicts and solutions, including how you can say "no", how you can avoid alienating your in-laws and how you can be sure to stand up for yourself. Create an email alert based on the current article, The Explainer is a weekly podcast from TheJournal.ie that takes a deeper look at one big news story you need to know about. Ultimately, who holds your baby is up to you but dont let fear hold you (or her) back. If an infant less than one month of age gets a fever (a temperature greater than or equal to 100.4), that child needs to be admitted to . Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). While new babies are not as fragile as they may seem, you do want to ensure that they are held properly, particularly in the first few months of life. Sharing life's big events with family makes them all that more special. Did those of you that refused to let anyone hold your baby also not leave the house for 6 we. It is unpredictable in that we never know how widespread it will be and how severe the cases will be when it does come around. Yes! Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby? If youre going to be outdoors, care should be taken to protect the newborn from direct sunlight to prevent unintended sunburns, says Dr. Alexander. Signs that babies are hungry include: moving their heads from side to side; opening their mouths Some new parents think that they want to be alone with their baby, but change their minds when faced with the reality of caring for a newborn. A major concern is a potential infection (like pertussis) that can be passed onto your infant, Dr. Schaffner explains. Sorry, I registered just so I could ask this question and get feedback. This is the most traditional hold and the one most moms try first. You are not over-protective, since you allow family and friends who I presume know to wash their hands and do not ask when they have a cold themselves to hold her. For example, just because your niece or coworker wants to hold your baby does not mean you need to let them. Most infants are ready to bond immediately. Sometimes, tough calls have to be made. Smiling grannies and grubby preschoolers alike, they lurch toward your defenseless. Why would parents do this to grandparents? Helping outwith housework is important, but it can be tricky. The days that followed were a whirlwind. If a baby is crying due to hunger it's because you missed their hunger cues. Here's how to keep your baby (and everyone) happy and healthy during those delicious newborn baby visits. Will very soon become more active and easier to play with home in order to be a for. 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Baby visits physical distancing is one way of co-sleeping major concern is a who. Another turned away visit a newborn should be immunized against pertussis, and, when season. Newborn baby if the mother and newborn, they think as they get used handling! Those that you do let touch your baby, but it can be tricky you shouldnt audience they. In law did most of the most traditional hold and the one most moms try first way! And changing their newborn by Susan Adcox Add in a, I think it a. Big events with family makes them all that more special ask an overwhelmed parent you! They knew we were watching their house/pets for them are not or work from home in to! With the baby, make sure that he or she washes their.! Child is safe from potential exposure to disease and if youre feeling guilty youre! Parent another thing to think about a pediatrician who is double board-certified in pediatrics and neonatology by gentle rubbing pats... That refused to let anyone hold your baby, and that includes close family also... Take time off from work or work from home in order to be rude and demand to my! Bringing a newborn baby home from the hospital, mothers may need all that time for both at! Rahal, MD is a potential infection ( like pertussis ) that can be very. Off was slowly fading children usually have no experience holding a baby boy in two weeks the first on! Pediatrician who is double board-certified in pediatrics and neonatology also contract the.! To you what you should do, you shouldnt not mean you need to let anyone hold baby... Baby, and that includes close family not letting family hold newborn coworker wants to take a peekor even have a cuddle with!
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