Your advice truly helped me as well. He wants his way, it was a test for me to see if he continues texting and try to talk me into calling him like he always does. He then said I had him on a pedestal and he didnt feel he deserved it and had we been further into the relationship he wouldnt be so scared of it but being its so new his guard is now up. so I really like this new guy I met he likes me and his day s are busy with school work and some other stuff so I write something cuz he hasnt written me so I txt him ssayinh hi how are u hope ur not workin ya self to hard lol but I did want to ask u a question u can call or txt .nite later and he texts me back saying As time works its magic, the best thing you can do is stay as busy as possible. He would get very upset if I posted a new profile pic on FB or put a posting on. When reading other forums for woman on dating men vanishing or not committing seems to be a very common theme. To go from 7 years of being in each others lives in some way to nothing so abruptly is so hard and I really want to contact him again but I do not want to lose my dignity. We did txt dailykisses and sweet nothings. When the guy who disappears suddenly makes a reappearance by texting you, youre now left with another puzzling question in your head: What should I do?! Of course he didnt answer. Before we dig deeper into the messages you can text a guy when he disappears, I believe that youd also like to know why guys disappear and then reappear in the first place? Why do you take all this time and effort to get to know and be with someone and then just ghost them. Is it ok for me to reach back out to him in a week or so? According to those articles he will be back silent treatment can take up to several months. I feel that this showed him that I know my worth, that Im not going to play second fiddle, and that if he ever decides to step up to the plate and actually date me for real, I wont tolerate that sort of behavior. Well, a few weeks ago he was having a few issues going on with his older daughter and our conversations were getting less and less. Omg, how did I fall so far so fast? Im widowed, no children, no big baggage, attractive in my early 50s. I was under the impression that number change was reserved for harassment, etc. All i can say to anyone in this situation is if you see your relationship heading in this direction, RUN!! I am moving on, I wont forgive him this time, but I still think and hope that he will contact me eventually and we will talk and explain things as normal, adult people should. No texts. She is self absorbed. Let him go. He just said he had a bad day at work and needed to hang with his son. I have no idea why! Obviously at this point you feel maximum like sending back an emoji of the middle finger. I dont know how I will get over this! So I texted him. He showed to be possessive of me, even though he has not officially asked me to be his gf. I dont even know what will happen if he wanted to come back. Its almost like a push and pull game with him. I actually think hes having sex with someone else. I offered to come back after and he agreed to allow me to come back . Two days go by, I tried calling him, he didnt call back. You strike me as the type of person who approaches life from the perspective of what things ought to be or what they should be based on your personal feelings. And 2 next months we going to have a vacation. Then he turned it around on me and said I was pushing the gas pedal down too hard and he wasnt sure what he wanted and this started out to be fun but he got a sense it was headed somewhere more serious (remember week 1 he said he was falling for me and he said it was headed somewhere serious not me.) so a week went by he didnt contact I contacted him he said he didnt know, blah, blah then a week after he said he didnt want to see anyone for now. He changed his phone number and ghosted me in mid conversation about coming to my birthday. He kept telling me that there are some family issues he has going on and he has University to deal with, but I think his feelings for me might be dropping. Chalk it up to one good date and keep fishing. She was funny, attractive, fit, and wore glasses (i love glasses!) In fact, I just ghosted a girl about a month ago. I feel as if I no longer mean anything to him and this is very hurtful and heartbreaking. Guys out there, emotions and love are scary for the first few times. Weeks go by and I run into him as we work in the same place. I dont get it at allit burns. You said it so well! I was understanding. I am so hurt and confused. He seems all set and he is being rude to you! It just drives me crazy not knowing why he stopped contacting me. Suffice to say he hasnt replied (its been 8 days) reading the blogs/comments here im in 2 minds: do I drop a friendly text to see if hes still alive? Dont rely on him to turn into a Disney Prince and save you. I just think you cant expect too much from people, especially those you have just met, hooked up with a few weeks ago or have known even for a few months. And Im only his second girlfriend he ever had. Him straight up I wouldnt be sleeping with him or anything and he knew that. I feel within a weeks time he has already met and slept with someone else. We are better off giving up on them and not ourselves by chasing after them or pinning over them. Some things SHOULD BE, and are, deal breakers. I have four ideas but will never know really which one it really is.. 1: his wife started to suspect something and they got in an argument and he got scared so he stopped contacting me.. 2: Hes started to see another woman and cant juggle 3 women at one time so he let me go. And remember how much it hurts to feel forgotten and make sure not to do the same to the nice guys. (because he didnt). We didnt end up meeting for dinner cas he also has a friend in the city and also cas he woke up around 11:30 pm so I suggested we can catch up tomorrow and he said his friends here anyways so that sounds better. 15 He Only Texts Late At Night. Two days ago, I decided to text him to see how he was doing and to wish him a great final week of schoolyou guessed it nothing! I remember when I started to get serious with my on-again, off-again of 5 years. As he was driving me home he held my hand and then we kissed good night. I can relate to most of you. Anyway, a definite connection, total talk of things we would do in the futurethe last time he contacted me was the 17th. It was a mutual connection and feeling then it just suddenly vanished on his end apparently. Hes gone! I did what any smart girl would and came straight here for advice. I did what I probably shouldnt have done, texted him again, just a question mark as a text lol, and then again a few days later saying something like youre more complicated than French guys , how was ur weekend no reply.. and then facebook message saying that if he didnt want to communicated, the least he could do was saying so, cause that was rude not to reply.. and still no answer its driving me crazy, im dying to know why he changed his attitude like that he hasnt unfriended me yet so im not sure what to think. Im too old to let this take over my life (34), but it still has me feeling so deflated and sad and teary. When I was a teenager, I was a part of a forum and met a lot of other teenagers there over so many years and one guy in particular I grew really close to. My instincts strongly tell me its the same guy I met on Tinder. He doesnt want to break things off completely so he leaves the door slightly open. Both said we loved each other and things were good. Thats a problem. In fact, one of the top reasons guys act interested but then disappear is that they think you're not compatible. So did you find any girl interested enough to chase you? I normally take my time in getting to know someone but we clicked immediately and I felt with every fiber of my being that this was special. Insecure? Its been a while. Its really that simple. Like Oprah says, The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them. My bet is that this isnt the first time hes been flighty towards you. Yes, it is true. An example is that he still has his profile up, Im not his girlfriend, and that I needed to lay off on the PDA. No return phone call was made. Couple weeks went by and I texted him are if hes ok and nothing so two weeks after that I trxted politely that whatever hes chosen I wish him well. Next day nothing. he said he dont want me to get closer, but he still wanna see me and love to be with me (hangout).. its just he is afraid that he dont get to the place where i want him to be.. he said he is sorry for him self because he knows how amazing woman I am. In the meantime, distract yourself with other things you enjoy. This is a wonderfully positive viewpoint in trying to dealing with this stuff. I feel you talking about my own story!!! He finally stopped me in the parking lot at work and told me he was having a lot of life issues at once and was trying to sort them out, but he would be in touch. I had moved in with him. However he does love playing games, he loves the drama he admitted it. Let me remind you of the #1 ultimate truth about courtship when you actually meet Mr. Sunday came, did not hear from him. I already have many men giving me attention and treating me nice, yes it is hard to trust them and I will probably get hurt again. You feel that sense of refreshing, like I moved on. Maybe hes goin through a family issue? Men often do this thinking it's nicer and less confrontational than some ugly emotional scene when you realize he's not going to stick around. I have felt the beginnings of self doubt and sadness; and even anger. I sent him a text the next day just saying hope you werent too tired at work because he was already tired from being on call earlier that day. Well one daybi decided I was going to take my things and leave because I was unsure anymore about how he felt.he was spending more time with frienda, coming home drunk often, he changed the lock code on his phone, I just felt there was something more to the story. 1. So a shoddy treatment of me from someone who claims to love me is not on. Oh god, maybe youre right and he just wants sex O_____O (did you read we were close friends since we met 5 years ago? 7 months into the relationship and a week before our holiday he just broke up with me, I had to struggle to find a friend to do a name change with. I needed a closure and I have it. He tried visiting me a couple of times. I dont want to go over the top and question him as to why he has become a little bit quieter, but at the same point I need to understand why? I had realised she was playing with my emotions so instead of reacting to her I chose to drop her like a hot potatoe to protect my own heart and feelings. I needed at least a day or so to mourn and evaluate things. And ironically it was their idea I date other guys. Do you accuse him of playing with your feelings straight away or do you act like everythings okay, even though deep down youre burning with rage? Whenever Ive tried to have it with someone, theyve always wanted to know WHY Im not interested and what can they do to change things. I ended up leaving with my gf 20 min before the resto bar closed. We texted every single day almost all day for a month straight. Ive been going through an on-again, off-again situation with one for 5 years. I am so sorry;(. This text message will show him that you have your boundaries and youre not willing to cross them because of him. Should I have initiated sex? P.s. Through his revolutionary coaching programs, Cracking the Man Code, Mat Boggs has helped millions of women around the world attract true love and create fulfilling relationships that last. It takes balls to have that conversation. I mean come on, thou cant even call me? But then I cant help but think if the call keeps going straight to voicemail (not even one ring)- maybe his phone is just broken/ switched off/ been stolen and he hasnt got it fixed yet? Of course he my have blocked me or not reply, but I feel I need to do this for my own peace of mind. ? I think its kind of harsh to say that he does not care about me. I cant get him out of my mind. his lost anyweiz.. (-_-) thanks for this post.. this what I really need to forget him..its been a month since our last date but until now I honestly cant stop thinking about him.. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Im sitting here laughing my ass off as to how cray-cray Ive been acting I literally did everything the quiz results advise not to do! I know men sometimes need space for themselves to be men. It was always because something happened at work or about his family and everything like that, and I always tried my best to cheer him up. Since he works at the store I get my groceries from I used a different picture.. I even learned some tough lessons. Prefer to watch a video about this content? But I guess that wasnt what he needed at the time. The vast majority of men wont even talk to you once they find out that you have kids You know this is true. Just wondered what made u see that made u say that I seem like a nice girl ( personally in your opinion) I meant to ask this when we first started texting ? I was talking to this guy on a dating we tried for a few meet ups but things kept happening and we were both busy we talked for four months!! I find this way of communicating a bit disrespectful, hence Ill have to let you go. The conversation died quickly but I was just happy he was talking to me again and through out the 5th month I would text him maybe once every few day to talk and he usually would reply but with hours of time in between and not replying back after so long. Most are liars, and the other ones are cowards. I just did that failed to initiate honest conversationand the end came fast and rather painfully. Things are going well. We would have small talk every once in awhile like people do when passing each other but nothing significant. ( I dont smoke or drink by choice) I do have a lot of friends who do and I told him that as long as drinking and smoking is not a habit and a life style. No more calls, no more late night texts, no more lets go eat in the middle of the night. I was fine with that, I was in the same boat. The next is silent treatments and ignoring texts. Weve had a few small disagreements that include him responding to my text messages sooner rather than later and I admit I questioned myself a few times on whether I could be with him given he was always gone. He was gone first for a week. Try not to replay that night in your mind and move on. BUT heres the thing- it seems some women i meet dont understand that whereas you can gradually get to like her more, you can also learn to like her LESS over time. now i need to work with the damage; thank you so much for helping me see this and helping me move on! Too much! Since you know a lot about tech, what kind of laptop should I invest in for long-term service? He didnt say anything and I didnt say anything. Results for the victim: obsessive thinking about the narcissist, confusion, anger. Required fields are marked *. Boy, do I wish I had not done so. disappearchange in guy types I think ha, You need to be the bigger adult here, and show him that you arent fazed. Nah, that probably not it, and if it is then he was never truly interested to start with. Ive had guys do this to me. Youre right- but losing interest is sometimes the result of sabotage if you dont demonstrate that you are curious about the other persons life, they will probably get bored with you. The excitement of meeting you might have worn off which directly might have affected the decline of attraction. He is sure to keep coming back for more when you boost his ego. I later realised he wasnt interested at all and its very painful. It shouldnt be any of our concern if the said party doesnt want to handle tough conversations. He sounds excited to see you, but he always seems to be too busy to meet. Even if you happen to have a talk with him, don't force yourself to listen to him if you don't want to. Met a guy through online site. Trust me, I never want to be the clingy girl and never would have kept up that level of intensity if he hadnt given me the green light. I last spoke to him Thursday evening where he told me to have a Good night. After two month of no contact, I reached out to him again and we got back together and have been back together for nine months. but her conversation skills were HORRIBLE. There are some things that are totally in a woman's control: Let's take a walk down the hall of shame: Being boring. You dont get permission to hurt me again. The first time he and hooked up he dropped off the face of the earth. Look, I think people need to know (sorry for the caps, but) THINGS ARENT DEFINABLE. You will understand his true interest level. Give him space and if he doesnt talk to you then Eff him and move on. Im Last year on New Years Eve I by chance went to a club and instantly hit it off with a guy, he evened so loved and charming. Anyways, I texted him the next day apologizing and he responded saying it was not a big deal at all. He might have made up with an ex or went out with someone he likes. I dont know. And itll be dormant for a month or so til I text again and then it repays. But I cant handle it again. I was devastated! If he doesnt come around, its his loss. I know I made the mistake of not having an exclusive talk after we slept together (and no, it wasnt until a couple of weeks and a few dates in), but I am not a serial dater and I dont sleep around. I have sent a few messages and called since and nothing. Let him know that you have your standards and that youre not willing to discard them just because you like him. That following week he faded into an all together disappearance act. To state it more clearly, myself and many of my close friends have dated women who at first seem pretty wonderful, but their interest in us as PEOPLE takes a distant back seat to their interest in us as men. ) Im 50+, 7 years later, and still trying but stopped trying to figure them out. No need to be upset girl What does that mean? I am so with you, why not just say. Look up narcissist on Pinterest. I know I deserve better than this treatment, but how do you get it? But then after a month he just started fading away. Because I didnt know he was a magician. I tell him if hes up for it we could hang out after. This isnt to reach out to him I just dont want to look llike I just want to hang on to it since it was up to me to give it back. its impressive to see to how many people this happened; at least I am not alone. I opened my eyes to him staring at me at one point. It does hurt and it is so hard to make ourselves understand that it is something out of our control. What do you do? if you dont, do yourself a favor and delete it from your phone immediately. Reading everyones stories, and particularly the helpful replies, has been comforting in my situation. Me: Mr Fade out..Its been quite a while since we spoke actually the next time I hear from you is going to benext wednesday??..lol. Something came up.". Need to be grateful for that. We always got along. Any advice on how to handle this? id like to thank everybody for sharing. I made the discussion about me and how he made me feel. I am guilty of ghosting a borderline personality disorder women. I texted him to tell him I was taking my daughter to the Dr and not to call. Thank you for this! To this, he replied, I totally agree and do you think we just got off on the wrong foot? I answered, I dont know. Get over your delusions! In reality they are emotional vampires. Hey, I just realized that I havent heard back from you in a while and Im a bit confused. I know its been a week and Ill be okay in time but I actually really really felt something and it makes me All of his texts were short. He invited me to meet him up at the gym, he was very flirty, very touchy, in between sets he would come talk to me. We spoke and it was like nothing had changed, I stayed over a couple of nights and for another four months we remained in touch still until he just decided to not contact me at all. He chose to disappear because he might have found it awkward to tell you that he has found someone whom he feels a stronger connection with. I dont understand why they would leave it open like this. His phone number and ghosted me in mid conversation about coming to my.. Calling him, he didnt say anything did what any smart girl would came. Out that you arent fazed, but ) things arent DEFINABLE of laptop SHOULD i invest in for service. He didnt say anything and he agreed to allow me to be a common. Officially asked me to have a vacation nah, that probably not it, and particularly the replies! Girl interested enough to chase you love me is not on disappearance act my... Initiate honest conversationand the end came fast and rather painfully turn into a Disney Prince and save you space. 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According to those articles he will be back silent treatment can take up to good. My own story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Replied, i just ghosted a girl about a month straight hes up it. Doesnt come around, its his loss and keep fishing their idea i date other..
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